Living alone is like being married to yourself.

Now that could be a good or bad thing, could swing either way.

But if you're like me

You like clean, soft, ironed, nice smelling clothes. You tell your wife to use fabric softener and you understand so you use it.

If you like a cup of tea in the morning with an apple maybe. You tell your wife. So you go out the previous evening and you buy the stuff. You'd wake up an hour earlier and make that shit, because you understand.

If you like tucked in bedsheets before you go to bed, you take half an hour when you come back from work and tidy up, because, well as a wife, you'd understand.

Unfortunately the sex is not so good, at the end of a long hot day you're just tired ... and like I said. You'd understand.

Disgusting I know. But every now and then, I must convince myself that all this shit doesn't make me a woman, because it's the nooni that keeps me seperate innit.