I'm not very good with decisions, they make me anxious. And I'm not very good with anxiety either. It makes me sick.
The only way I deal with things is I ask myself two questions:
1. What's your worst fear RIGHT NOW?
2. What's your worst fear for tomorrow?
If I'm able to answer those questions my anxiety goes away, and then I'm able to arrange things I want according to their priorities and decide what I want.
Point is, sometimes it doesn't make any sense, here's somethings to put what I'm trying to say into perspective.
Shit I did, that I didn't regret:
1. 11th standard I ditched math classes. I sat at home everyday for an hour and solved the entire coursework. I never told my parents out of fear. I ended up getting a 96 in 12th boards.
2. 12th standard I never went for a single English lit/lang lecture after the prof. threw me out. She totally dissed me man, I bribed a peon for attendance towards the end. The same went for Computer Graphics lectures and practicals.
4. Wrote an overdramatic email that I will never regret in my life :)
5. Decided I was okay talking to much and dressing the way I dress, or getting absurd haircuts or listening and advocating very anti-social music.
6. To never wear a single pair of pants as long as I have say in what I wear to worl.
7. Take up Ruby instead of java or .NET post my C++ phase.
8. Take advanced databases in place of AI. My entire batch just wanted to do Artificial Intelligence for no apparent reason, I think computers are brainwashing people into doing coursework that'll make people develop the next AI warlord.
You have to understand that you have a comfort zone, and if you're young enough you need to know that is no place to live in. Step out of your comfort zone. Learn. Experiment. That's the only way you'll every get to know something about yourself. I truly believe that in your most dire hour of need, you really get to know the person who helps you, and if it's you then that's the best learning experience of your life.
BUT On the other hand, stupid shit I did, that I did regret:
1. Phone bills.
2. Taking my JEE as lightly as I did, because my brother convinced me to do it and the motivation didn't come from me primarily. Rebellious stupid bum.
3. Submitting assignments for two years in college.
4. Not playing as many sports as I would have liked to
5. Pissing off my family at different stages in my life :)
6. Not say things I would have wanted to say just because it might've sounded odd or wrong.
7. Not listening to my Dad/Mom/Brother when what they said kinda made sense.
8. Not putting in enough effort for my 10th standard boards. Left everything for the last minute and as it turns out last minute memory retention is not a talent I have. See, I didn't know myself :) I assumed I was in my comfort zone leaving everything for the last minute. Case and point.
9. Not getting out of the car and killing the motorist who spat on the road. I will regret this, again and again.
So yeah, at the end of the day if you're more out of your comfort zone that you're in it, it's a good deal.
Excellent deal.
"Turn up my collar,
welcome the unknown."
Megadeth - Addicted To Chaos
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